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AN IMAGINARY INTERVIEW WITH SANJAY DUTT

As you know the wonder of imagination can take you anywhere. So by the wonder of imagination I plonked myself by Sanju Baba's side as he was being driven in a Police vehicle to Yerwada Jail.

Sanju: Arre Bhai kaha se tapka (suddenly appear)……. arre merre ko tapkane (gangland killing) ke liye toh nahi tapka???
Me: Easy it buddy….. I'm here to get your side of the story!!!
Sanju: Arre Baap if you are planning to write a script on my lochaas (problems) don't bother I'm planning to make a movie once mein yaaha se kalti maroonga (leave)… Munnabhai Bhai nahi!

The vehicle he's traveling is being followed by cars, presumably of his relatives, friends, fans and the Media. One pulls up to the side and the rear window rolls down and a Lady blows him kiss after kiss.

Sanju: (addressing her ) Arre bass karr……you are in fact making me miss the outside world even more….. (addressing me) Baap apan ka raapchik maal hai matlab ki apan ki girlfriend hai!!!
Me: Yes there are rumours that you've bought her a boutique in Johannesburg .
Sanju: Yaar if she keeps blowing these kisses merri toh vaat lagh jaye gi!!! Imagine if she comes to meet me in jail and from the other side blows kisses…. arre mein toh ek dumm mad ho jaaoonga!
Me: But now your sis will have to come to Pune to visit you?
Sanju: Baap hawaa change karna chahiye….. they'll come to Pune and hawaa pani change hoegaa!!
Me: Yes even your hawaa pani is going to change!!!
Sanju: Kyaa bolta hai Baap mera toh hawaa pani already tight ho gaya hai and aur bhi tight honne waala hai!!

Another vehicle pulls and it's someone from the Media.

Media: Sanjay Ji kaise lagh raha hai???
Sanjay: Bahut achcha …. want to exchange places……(curses under his breath) saalon ne mera tamasha bana diya hia!!!
Me: Tell me why did you procure the guns?
Sanju: Arre Boss I was worried for my family….. we were being threatened on a hourly basis.
Me: Your one sis was married so she did not live with you and the other, Namrata, you could have easily bundled off with your Dad overseas for some time.
Sanju: Kya boltha hai…… arre at that time you think I was in a frame of mind to think??? And what about me….. I too was under threat!!!
Me: The AK 56 gun meant that you were expecting a crowd to come to lynch you or your family???
Sanju: Arre Boss for me that was not a weapon of mass destruction but a weapon to deter masses!!!

Another vehicle pulls up and this time its Namrata and she gives him a thumbs up. And Sanju returns the gesture.

Sanju: Baap I miss my Dad.
Me: I feel you should be thankful that he's not alive to see you going through this!
Sanju: Teekh bola Baap!!!
Me: What's with this tapori language?? I hear you've kept tapori names for all at your home….. you call your cook Pateela, your Man Friday Chipkoo, your Driver Steering and your Dog Chaar Taang(four legs) !!!!
Sanju: Just a habit I've developed from Munna Bhai and the gangland movies I've acted in!!!
Me: People feel that this is because of the Company you keep…. in fact maybe Justice Kode must have taken this as one of the pointers that you continue to keep the wrong company!!
Sanju: Not at all….. I've been educated at Sanawar…….actually I too fell in love with the character Munna Bhai and this is the outcome!!
Me: You know Laloo too has this double image…… ordinarily he's pretty sane but when he comes into the camera glare he becomes a joker…. I think you do the same…. you become Munna Bhai!!!

Another vehicle pulls up and this time screaming fans call out to him and he waves back at them.

Me: You've spent 16 months in jail so jail is nothing new to you?
Sanju: Kya bolta hai Baap…… now I'm even more scared because I know what to expect???
Me: You said in the 16 months in jail in Arthur Road you hade named a bandicoot Hitler!!
Sanju: Boss for a chinky ( Far East inhabitants) Arthur Road would have been like a buffet table…… rats, bandicoots, lizards!!!
Me: In your previous stint in jail you did not have to do any labour but now you will have to do labour too!!
Sanju: Good…. at least it'll keep my mind and body busy!!
Me: What labour would you prefer????
Sanju: Ideally I'd like it if they allow me to labour on the script of Munnabhai Bhai nahi and I'll commit that part of the proceeds will be given to the Jail….. or they could appoint me as the Gandhigiri rep and I'll spend my time labouring to get inmates in Yerveda adopt Gandhigiri…. if these are not agreed to I wouldn't mind labouring in the kitchen!!!
Me: Well if you take up kitchen labour please remember you'll not be acting as a cook and niether can you get your Cook Pateela to do the cooking..... you'll have have to learn to cook. Maybe when you come out you can even open your Restaurant Chain..... Sanju's Jailhouse Khaana.

Another vehicle pulls up and it's his lady love again blowing kisses.

Sanju: Bass karr…… arre pyaar karr rahi hai yah maar rahi hai????
Me: No wonders they say love hurts!!! Now what is you Defence Team planning???
Sanju: Well this is nakki (sure) that we will got to SC!!! They will try to bail me out and by the looks of it my chances to get bail are very bright!!!
Me: But that would be just living on the edge again!!!
Sanju: Baap by the time SC gives its final judgement I'd be past my prime in Bollywood and hopefully Indian Jails would have improved by then…… in the modernization wave sweeping India Jails too would be modernized……. and if I'm acquitted or given parole it'll be like a lottery!!! I'm willing to take my chances.
Me: But then like this time your Defence Team is going to say that you've lived on the edge for so long and have in fact served the sentence indirectly!!!
Sanju: Did the Judge give credence to this when he decided my sentence….. no…. so this is of no consequence!!!

We pass a Dhaba where there are people waving out to him.

Sanju: Baap this is the Dhaba that I gave the 'Best Dhaba' award!!!
Me: Well now you better get ready for jail food!!!
Sanju: Wanda nahi ... I'll get accustomed to the food!!
Me: But you'll have to cut down on smoking and of course no booze!!! Your lungs and liver are going to get relief!!!
Sanju: (winking) Seems your knowledge about jails is very limited!! In the jail you can full - to(drink daily)!!!
Me: If you had the choice of taking one person into Jail with you who would you take???
Sanju: Circuit.
Me: Well maybe you can make someone into Circuit…. I understand your neighbour in the Jail will be Telgi….. Telgi will make a very good Circuit!!! In fact viewing his printing prowess you can call him Printed Circuit!!!!

The Police Vehicle reaches Yerwada.

Me: Chalo bye..... your Mamoos ( Maternal Uncles , in Mumbai taporis call cops Mamus) will be coming in to take you into the jail!!!
Sanju: (to himself) Tension nahi lenaa ka Sanju Bhai.....subha hoegee mamu ( sung to to tune of subha ho gayi Mamu......one day it'll be morning Mamu.... in tapori Mamu also means stupid)!!!

Bharat Kumar
Aaj_ki_aawaz@yahoo.com

Sheelbhadra Banerjee is new Tourism Secretary

Sheelbhadra Banerjee has taken over as Secretary Tourism to Government of India. He replaces Chirsty L.Fernandez who took over as Secretary to the President of India recently.Banerjee who is an IAS officer of 1971 batch till now was serving as Director General (Acquisition) in Ministry of Defence.He belongs to the Andhra Pradesh cadre.

Renuka Viswanathan gets additional charge
Secretary Coordination Dr Renuka Viswanathan has been given additional charge of the post of Chairperson, National Authority for Weapons Convention, Cabinet Secretariat. She is 1971 batch IAS officer of Karnataka cadre.

Sundeep Khanna gets extension in tenure
Appointments Committee of the Cabinet has approved the extension of tenure of Dr. Sundeep Khanna Additional Secretary in the Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment. Dr Khanna is 1972 batch IAS officer of Madhya Pradesh cadre.

Ram is DGP of Jharkhand again

B D Ram has taken over as DGP of Jharkhand again.He is 1973 batch IPS officer.Present DGP J B Mohapatra has been made DG Home Guards and CMD Police Housing .Naiyaz Ahmad has been made ADG Vigilance.

No lady judge in Supreme Court
At present, there is no woman judge in the Supreme Court if India.

Pillai gets exrension
Dr Sivathanu Pillai, one of the country's top missile scientist, has reportedly been granted extension in service.

18 IRS officers transferred

As many as 18 IRS officers in the rank of Assistant/Deputy/Joint/Additional Commissioners were transferred. They are:S.D.S.Bhadoria RTI Ahmedabad to DGIT(Vig)Delhi,Vinod Kumar Goyal from compulsory wait to DGIT(Systems))Delhi, N.N.Thakur to Delhi DGIT(Systems))Delhi,Rajeev Mehrotra Delhi to DGIT(Systems))Delhi,S.Rahman to DGIT(Vig)Delhi to Delhi,Upmanyo Basu on compulsory wait to DGIT(Systems))Delhi,Surabhi Verma Delhi to DGIT(Vig)Delhi, B.K.Gupta DGIT(Vig)Delhi to Delhi,Pratima Kaushik DGIT(Vig)Delhi to Delhi, R.B.Meena Gujarat to DGIT(Systems))Delhi,S.K.Jain DIT(Vig)(East)Kolkata to DGIT(Vig)Delhi,Veena Joshi DGIT(Systems) Delhi to DIT(Infra) Delhi, shish Kumar DGIT(Systems))Delhi to Delhi,Shefali Swaroop Gujarat to RTI Lucknow, Meenakshi Singh RTI Lucknow to UP(E),K.Parashivaih DGIT(Systems) Delhi to KTK,Amal Garg Gujarat to DGIT(Systems) Delhi & Ajay Kumar DGIT(Vig)Delhi to Delhi.

Many IRS officers seek stay on transfers

There are many officers of the Indian Revenue Service(IRS)who sought stay on their transfers from different benches of the Central Administrative Tribunal(CAT).In an urgent message to CCITs(CCAs) the Government has instructed that all such officers should be posted exempted/non assessment charges till their cases were settled. The CBDT has sought an urgent report in this matter.

India & Japan quietly working on a nuclear deal

India & Japan have quietly started working on a nuclear deal similar to the US.Deputy National Security Advisor(NSA) who has strong Japanese bonding has begun to work behind the scene.The exercise is to see to it that India could seek Japanese investment for Indian nuclear power plants.

A battery of lawyers working for Sanjay Dutt's bail

A battery of legal experts is working to seek bail for jailed bollywood star Sanjy Dutt.As it is the Congress party has put it on a very high priority. Party chief Mrs. Sonia Gandhi & her advisors have met Ms.Priya Dutt, sister of Sanjay Dutt & are keeping themselves abreast of minute to minute development. All top legal brains of Congress including H.R.Bhardwaj, Kapil Sibal, Manu Singhvi,Ghulam Wanavati,Milan Banerjee, Harish Salve & a few retired Chiejustices of India are being consulted in this regard.

NDTV & BBC joining hands

NDTV & BBC are on final stages of a major tie up wherein BBC has formed a local company by the name of BBC India Worldwide Ltd.The BBC is going to make strategic investments in NDTV India. As the grapevine has it a formal announcement to this effect is likely to be made in a few weeks.

IPS promotions in Nagaland

Two 1979 batch IPS officers C P Giri and K Kire have been promoted to the rank of ADG in Nagaland.1986 batch IPS officers L T Lotha and W N Ngullie have been given IG rank.

Changes in Pondicherry
S. Banumathi has been appointed as the Director of Art and Culture Department. N. Balasubramanian has been appointed as Deputy Secretary Education.

CIC asks IIT Delhi to re-instate Registrar
The Central Information Commission (CIC) has reportedly asked IIT Delhi to reinstate their registrar Col. Rajindra Singh who was suspended by the director .

Sinha is JS UPSC
R K Sinha is new Joint Secretary in the UPSC. He is an IDAS officer.

Alok Sharma to return to UP
Alok Sharma is expected to return to the parent Uttar Pradesh cadre soon. 1991 batch IPS officer Sharma is presently on deputation to the Uttarakhand Government. On return he will be posted in the rank of DIG.

Khati to be ED in Ry Board
IRPS Officer Mrs Urvilla Khati is likley to become ED PC in the Railway Board itself.

IES is advisor in Madhya Pradesh
Madhya Pradesh Government has appointed SK Tiwari (IES) as Economic Adviser under Finance Department of the state government. The Ministry of Finance, Government of India, has provided the services of Tiwari on deputation for a period of two years.

Koche is DIG in Orissa
R P Rao Koche has been appointed DIG Southern Range in Orissa. He is 1993 batch IPS officer.

Retired IAS officer jumps into politics in Chhattisgarh
Retired 1971 batch IAS officer P Raghavan has jumped into active politics. He has joined the Chhattisgarh Vikas Party.

IT Commissioner has no work in Bilaspur
An Income Tax Commissioner K K Singh has no work to do in Bilaspur in Madhya Pradesh. There is no Appellate Tribunal in Bilaspur but the IRS officer has been posted there.

2004 batch IAS is DM in Orissa
2004 batch IAS officer Ashish Kumar Singh has been appointed Collector in Roygada district in Orissa.

Ajay Kumar joins RVNL
Ajay Kumar,IRPS, Dy CPO, has joined as GM(P&A) in RVNL Ltd at New Delhi.

Vacancy in RITES
Railway Board has circulated vaccany notice for the post of AGM in RITES at GURGAON in the scale of pay of Rs 16400-20000. Interested officers may apply.

Prof Maurya is VC of firstUuniversity
Prof. Abhai Maurya of Department of Slavic Studies, University of Delhi has assumed the office of the first Vice-Chancellor of English and Foreign Languages University, Hyderabad .

FORUM

Will someone take note ?

Will T Ramchandru be kind enough to remind the CAG, DOPT & GOI that all over the country officers of state civil services belonging to 1985-86 batch are still in the same rank in which they were recruited while officers belonging to AIS are about to reach the rank of Principal Secretary in States and in Centre. Who is responsible for this injustice that an officer with 21 years of experience and with same and even better qualification has to still say Sir to a young recruit of AIS belonging to 2005 batch because he is going to be his boss. Will a note be taken for this blatant injustice being meted to the State Civil services

Rajnesh Sharma

Is it because of departmental rivalry ?
This is the reflection of the inter departmental rivalry in the Railways. The Traffic lobby has had UTs share of 'glory' according to the insiders and its time for others to hog the (sweet)lime light. And how ridiculous does the system look. The same Jena was considered a man of integrity when he was made the GM and later on Member Staff. Why this drama now ? One GM is reportedly camping in the Capital and manipulating things. If that is true, who has authorised him to be away for so long from his HQ. The fault does not lie with this over ambitious GM but with those who allow themselves to be manipulated. The delay in appointment of both the FC and the CRB will only add to the bitterness at the top level in the Railway Board. This was entirely avoidable

S V Rathnam

Railway Minister should follow the rule of seniority
Railway Minister should follow the rule. One who has two years left should become CRB as done in the past like in the case of RK Singh and even present CRB, Batra

Ravindra Jadhav

Remarks of Ramachandru unwarranted
Seen the views offered by T Ramachandru on appointment of some non-IAS officers to the posts of Collectors in Orissa. Such comments are unwarranted. Even during pre-independence time, PCS officers of Orissa were eligible to be posted as Collectors and Secretary to Government. The officers posted are working efficiently, and hence such issues should not be raised at all.
Now it is seen that in promotion to IAS, the efficiency has been a causality. Only seniority is considered which is not proper as per the rules.

Suresh Prasad Padhy

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CORPORATE

V. Vizia Saradhi is Director (HR) in HPCL

The Government has appointed V. Vizia Saradhi,Executive Director(ED), of Hindustan Petroleum Corporation Ltd(HPCL) to the post of Director (HR), for a period of five years w.e.f. the date of assumption of charge of the post or till the date of his superannuation or until further orders, whichever event occurs earlier.

Sunil Kumar moves to Mumbai

On promotion as DGM in INDIAN Sunil Kumar has been moved to Mumbai.

CVC recommends action against 67 officials of Coal sector
The CVC is reported to have recommended action against 67 officials of the Coal sector during the last three months.

Lalwani to join McCann-Erickson
Vijay Lalwani is joining McCann-Erickson as Creative Director. Earlier he worked in the same capacity with Everest Brand Solutions, where from he resigned recently.

Jayaraman joins GE Energy

Kishore Jayaraman has been appointed as the Region Executive for India by the GE Energey

Sunil Dutt quits Nokia

Sunil Dutt, Director has quit Nokia.Dutt who was in charge of sales had put in his papers after he was offered the charge of Nokia operations in Indonesia.